“There comes a time in every man’s life where he must embark on a very long journey” – (I honestly thought this was a quote from Lord of the Rings or something but it was actually from some random guy’s tweet from when he started reading a big book.)
So here it is folks, my first blog post. My goal with these blogs are to make people laugh by writing about absolutely nothing. I have never been a great writer but I’m pretty good at getting laughs after a couple Miller Lite’s #spon so we’ll see what I can do. I’ve found myself with some extra time at the end of the day and this seems like the best way to waste it.
Why do this?
A great question Mr. Narrator! Honestly, the world seems pretty sick right now and you know what they say about the best medicine. (It’s heroin, but laughter is a close second.) I will be writing about whatever comes to my mind that day as long as I feel I can make it funny.
During a normal workday I pretend to do Digital Marketing. In reality I put on nice clothes, sit at my desk, eat sandwiches, complete two hours of work per day, and check twitter/instagram with the remaining six hours. I feel this makes me an expert on half baked internet humor. My goal is to write a blog post every day. That blog post can consist of whatever is on my mind, something that happened that day, or a current event. My only rule is that it has to attempt to be funny.
For instance, today I read on twitter about a company ($MSTR) that put $425 million dollars into Bitcoin. I then proceeded to sell most of the other stock that I own and buy an irresponsible amount of $MSTR. I almost vomited. I put around 25% of my net worth into a company I did almost no research on simply because they invested in Bitcoin. I’ve never felt so alive. (Ok, not terribly funny but it’s my first blog post.)
In general I’m going to try to remain anonymous but I imagine if you’re actually here reading this it’s because I shared this on one of my social media platforms and you likely know who I am. I ask that you don’t call my employer or my parents and tell them about something naughty I wrote about. If I write something you don’t like, I ask that you reach out to me personally so I can tell you to shove it up your ass. Honestly though, they’re just jokes and I’ll be making fun of myself more than anything or anyone else so please don’t take offense.
And with that my first post comes to an end. I hope you come back soon.
-Shaboy
Happy Friday Y'all 