Day Three

Crushing it Today

I was really in my sad boy bag yesterday. I’m feeling pretty good today. Things are pretty day to day and I understand why. I should probably be over this breakup now but it’s probably going to take a little more time. I’m beginning to feel ok with that. It’s ok to be upset and disappointed. It’s ok to have feelings.

I hooked up with a girl I met on Hinge a month or two ago and I thought it would help me feel better. It did not. It wasn’t a girl I was really interested in and I don’t think she was very interested in me either. It seemed like a business transaction between the two of us when we hooked up and it felt pretty gross. She came over and we watched an episode of Dave (Lil Dicky’s show ((good show honestly))) and we just had nothing in common. Immediately after we had sex I knew it was a bad idea.

I drove her home after and felt pretty bad about it. I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t interested in anything long term going into it but it still felt gross. I deleted all the dating apps on my phone. They stink. From my experience, I just end up sounding so desperate to unimpressive girls. I really want to meet someone in person and have a funny/ballsy story about how I had some guts and approached a cute girl in the wild. All this messaging over apps just seems so timid. It takes no guts.

I want to find myself in a situation where I have to build up some guts and approach an attractive girl. And then I want to find out that she’s humble and smart. Obviously nothing ends up being perfect but this would be pretty cool. I just feel like I’m not interested in any of the girls interested in me and vice versa. I’ve got to find that small space in the middle of the Venn Diagram where we’re both interested in each other.