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It’s Not Complicated

Got into a conversation with one of my friend’s the other day. He started talking about how today’s women weren’t appreciating him and started referring to the biological clock that’s ticking inside of them. He made it out like they were the problem. I was referred a book that would change my thinking on women. I said I would read it but I can’t help thinking how fruitless the whole exercise would be.

I always hear men talking about how they don’t understand women. I disagree. I don’t think it’s very complicated. Women are simple once you understand what they’re looking for. They like rich (competent), physically attractive, and humble men. Obviously, depending on the woman, you don’t have to have all of these things. Different woman will prefer different characteristics.

If a chick blows you off don’t blame her. She’s just making decisions based on the information she has available. The last thing you should do is get bitter. I can remember doing this and then going out and hooking up with another girl in a drunken stupor and never texting her again, not even noticing the hypocrisy.

When you start reading these books about how women today suck you’re revealing more about yourself than you know. You start thinking about how your grandpa and grandma got married when they were 20 and why we should have the same things. Trust me man, your grandpa was a tough motherfucker. He grew up in the 40’s and worked physical labor every day of his life. He spent a lot of nights hungry as a young kid. He was made of iron. It’s no wonder your grandma was attracted to him. You grew up playing video games until 2 in the morning and eating dunkaroos.

I did it too. It’s alright brotha there’s no shame in that. Being a kid is and was great. But good women aren’t attracted to kids. Good women are attracted to men. Your grandpa became a man when he was 12. You are a 27 year old child. Understand the difference. The first thing a man does is he takes responsibility for the things going wrong in his life. He quits blaming women for not being interested in him and asks what can I do to get better.

Maybe I’ll get a job and do it as best as I can. Try to provide some financial stability. Then once I do that I’ll start working out and trying to eat healthy. Then maybe I’ll start reading and try to take advantage of my free time a little bit. Then I’ll work a little bit harder every day until I’m the person I want to be and a good woman will find her way to me. It takes layers man just stop getting mad at people (including yourself) and start changing some things.

These fucking books about how the opposite sex sucks are poison. They poison your soul. They try to encapsulate all of love and romance into a fucking equation based on empirical science. Just give it up man. Love is so much more. Love is being vulnerable. It’s essential to a healthy, vibrant life. Love is difficult. Finding something truly valuable is not going to come easy. You’re going to have to put a lot of work in for it. Both before and after. But you can’t give up. That’s how you become bitter. You lose hope. “Life’s better with company.” (Scene in Up in the Air where George Clooney talks to Kenny Powers when has cold feet before his wedding is an absolute must watch. Get’s me everytime. Saw that movie when I was in high school but rewatched a couple years later and appreciated it so much more.)

My ex-girlfriend came by 2 weeks ago and dropped off a key to my apartment. She was home for Thanksgiving. It was a nice moment. She looked great and gave me my key. I gave her a plastic bag of her stuff. I looked her in the eye and told her that I was happy that she was doing well and that she looked good. I meant it too. We hugged and then she left. Whole encounter was under two minutes. Do I still have feelings for her? Of course. Do I wish we could work things out and get back together? Of course. Do I wish I was seven feet tall and played in the NBA? Also yes. It’s not her fault. She was a good girlfriend while we were together. Not perfect but a good girlfriend whom I loved. I know the type of feeling and type of person that I’m looking for now. I just have to become the man that could attract and keep a woman like that in my life.