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Imagine Not Being Me

Imagine not being me. Imagine not sitting shirtless in a pretzel flexing in front of a mirror every night for 5 minutes and calling it “meditating”. Imagine not slicing up an apple every night, putting it in the same piece of tupperware, throwing in some oatmeal and soymilk and putting together a scrumptious breakfast for the next morning. Imagine not spending your Sunday morning ridiculously hung over but getting a win with your basketball team anyways. There are ~8 billion people on this earth and only one of them get to be me. Imagine being any of those other people. A truly frightening thought experiment.

Imagine not having a great group of friends you could go chill with on the weekends. Imagine not meeting up with them and going to get dinner that quickly becomes a night out after one round of beers. Imagine not getting approached by a couple of cute girls to take a picture of them. Imagine not approaching them a little later that night and asking if they want to come over to your table. Imagine them saying no but that I could bring a friend over to their table. Imagine not having a boss man for a buddy who doesn’t hesitate to follow you over. Imagine not having a great night and getting one of their numbers.

Imagine not getting hit and yelled at by your dad when you were 8 because you struck out a couple times in your baseball game. Imagine not forgiving him anyways when you get older because his childhood was much shittier than yours. (All in all, my childhood was actually pretty great but there were definitely some tough moments) Imagine not having a great relationship with your parents now that you’ve become an adult you can forgive them for some mistakes that they made. Imagine not getting your dad in on the best investment of the last thousand years and making him a bunch of money.

Imagine not going through some anxiety and rough shit in college to remind you that you’re a human being who is in fact vulnerable. Imagine not realizing that smoking weed 3 times a day and drinking 4 days a week will have a negative effect on your personality and health. Imagine not consuming hours of vegan propaganda in an attempt to feel better. Imagine not finding that it kind of worked!

Imagine not going through some heartbreak in your 20s. Imagine not allowing it to light a fire under your ass and get motivated. Imagine not running a 3:24 (wow just realized this is also my birthday lol) marathon to prove to yourself that you could do something difficult. Imagine not trying to get to a place where you genuinely wish your ex well. Imagine not eventually realizing that it’s ok to not always feel that way and nobody is getting harmed as a result. Imagine not realizing it’s a flawed way to think but that you are a flawed human being. Imagine not realizing living your life constantly trying to avoid making mistakes is a way to avoid being human. Imagine not being me. Imagine you not being you. Personally, I’d rather not.